What Living with Girls Teaches Me About Being a Woman

This will be a new Tag on my blog. I say on my About page that “figuring this out is as much about them as it is about me.” What I’m trying to figure out is how to be the most beautiful believer I can be. I want to defy the box that most people put around a “Christian woman” at the same time that I want to support those who live there. I want to discover the feminine role that is uniquely mine. In her interview on Oprah, Salma Hayek claimed being a girl is more difficult in our culture than being a boy, and I think she is probably right in many ways. So, I look for inspiration wherever I can find it, and right now I’m getting loads from my beautiful daughters, the very ones I thought I was trying to help.

Today as we dressed for church, Ada put on a new spring patterned dress from her grandma and discovered that the collar “felt strange.” She decided not to wear it, to which I responded, oh, yes, you are going to wear it! I proceeded with a lecture about how we are to be grateful for the many outfits that we own since many children all over the world have almost nothing to wear. Also, how is Grandma going to feel if you never wear the dress she picked out especially for you? You can hear this, right? I was in full-on Perfect Mother mode.

After a while, Ada gave in and decided she looked beautiful anyway, so a little collar problem wasn’t going to get in her way. In the meantime, I walked into my ridiculously huge closet stuffed with rows of clothes I never wear and I wanted to disappear. I hate hypocrisy, and yet I found it stamped across my forehead. I made a vow to purge that closet at my earliest possible convenience.

Then I grabbed the clean blue shirt and gray pinstriped pants that I wore just last week around all the very same people I would see today. I put them on and felt beautiful!



Filed under Family, General

3 responses to “What Living with Girls Teaches Me About Being a Woman

  1. dan

    You are all breathtakingly beautiful, and I’m so glad you’re mine.

  2. Hey, Felic!

    Aria has some sensory issues that have been very interesting when it comes to fashion/beauty. She happens to be the daughter (out of two) who is the most self conscience and who primps and wants to wear make up, but because of her sensory issues or what some call “sock syndrome” she gets very uncomfortable in certain clothing. As she has gotten older she has become more vocal about it and/or I have been more relenting.

    Where I used to get her to wear a nice pair of jeans of pants with some pleading maybe once a week, now she insists on wearing only elastic waist soft knit sport pants or sweat pants. She has gray ones and pink ones. Often the gray ones are dirty and she ends up wearing the pink ones with what ever color of “comfy” shirt she can find, red, marroon, orange, etc. She also has a very sensitive head and although she loves to come up with her own creative hairstyles they rarely last 5 min. due to headaches. At first it was sooo hard to let her walk out the door like this! I happen to be a very “match” conscience person. A cherry red polo and metallic pink sport pants with stripes down the sides just gives me chills of horror!

    But I soon realized that if she didn’t care and that comfort was more important than fashion why should I try to pressure her into something that she will be pressured into more and more as she gets older. She is only 7 after all. 🙂 Funny the things we don’t realize are so important to us till things like this come up. Kids are good for us.

  3. Kids are sooo good for us! Thanks for sharing.

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